For the longest time, life for my husband and I was unstable. Yes, he's had the same job for nine years, but my life in Chicago was pretty sucky - jobs were at a premium, and I was mired in a lot of financial issues. I didn't find a real job until I ended up in Alaska, and it was through that job I was able to start the immigration process and get a lot of things done. Plus, my first experience in Canada proved to me that if I wanted to come up and live with my husband, I had to show a bit more finesse.
If my crazy ex-roommate hadn't kicked me out, I would have probably stayed in Alaska a bit longer, if anything to save up for my move. Don't get me wrong, I would have gone to Canada anyway, especially after I heard about a shake up at the place I worked at which resulted in most of my co-workers quitting, but at least I would have properly saved my pennies so I could have a next egg when I came up. But that is neither here nor there - I'm just glad I'm a PR now, and I'm legally able to be here.
Having kids is definitely a huge factor - probably the biggest part of why the both of us didn't jump on planes and meet "somewhere in the middle" (we sure talked about it) after our very first conversation. But when young ones are depending on you, you have to put them first . . . not just the "who's gonna get them up and off to school in the morning" bit, but the "are they gonna be okay with all of this and (most importantly) can I trust this new person to be good to them?" First priority has to be their well-being, to a point. Then, later, you have to balance them stomping their feet and manipulating the situation with what's best for you.
DerbyGirl Wrote:For us it was called...life...LOL
Can't always just pick up & go on vacation 3,200 miles away
Work, family commitments, etc
It "seems" as though those of us who "waited" (for lack of a better word) are typically ...ummmm - more mature? (read: older..haha)
I think that might have something to do with older folks are more likely to have family & work commitments (plus maybe be more cautious?)
I'm not saying that younger folks don't have those same things - but typically the younger you are, the less likely it is that you have kids & "stable" jobs - I know when I was younger - way younger - that the type of jobs I was doing - it was no bid deal if they wouldn't give me a month off, I'd take it anyways & find another job when I came back type of deal
Doesn't matter how I say this - I'm sure it's going to irk someone :)
I think you get the idea of what I'm trying to say though
Yeah, everyone else is confirming what you're saying, but I'm the exception. ;) I was 21 when I first met my husband in person -- in my final (fifth) year of undergrad at the time. By the time we were really quite serious, I was in grad school, here in Waterloo. Once course work was over, grad school made it really easy for me to take off for visits. I started my full time job just a few months before we got married. In January of the year we got married, he quit his stable full time job to start his own business and has been doing that ever since. That made it a lot easier for him to move up here when we got married, and wait out his PR in Canada, because he could still work for clients in the US. I guess my husband's 8 years older than me, so that could have something to do with why the length of time we knew each other before marriage seems to follow the 'mature' thread. ;)
I have been reading this forum for awhile and finally decided to sign up, since our application time is approaching. I too met my husband and married right away. We were married within a year of our first meeting in May 2006, we spent 3 months together until he was deported Aug 2006. He left to Venezuela and 9 months May 2007 later I followed. We are now living in Venezuela hoping to submit our application soon...
I married my hubby a year and a half after we met online. I suppose thats pretty fast.. but to us it was like forever!